Friends

I’ve been thinking about this for a while and only just hit me tonight to post about it. It’s funny too, because I’ve already done a post about family and what it means to me, but not friends. Not really, anyway. You would think that would be the logical next step, but we all know, or if you don’t know… if you stick around you’ll soon find out, I’m not always the person to take the most logical next step. It keeps things interesting. I tend to get very sidetracked, and for that I do apologize.

I was once someone who could just not go a day without being with my friends. I had a humongous group of people that I called my close friends, and sure, that is what we were. Then I had several people who were so close that I didn’t have to call before stopping by, their house was my house, I had a drawer in at least one of these houses for when I needed a place to crash, and this is something that happened on a regular basis. I was away and with friends more than I was at home and with family.

One of my friends, my very very best friend at the time, and I had this routine of talking on the phone as much as possible, going everywhere together… no literally, he would come to my house and pick me up and we’d go everywhere together. Luckily we only lived a few miles apart. Then we also had this system of putting notes in each others mailboxes or under the windshield wiper of our cars. We went to different schools so it made it a little harder to just pass notes. Yeah, so what if we were big ole goobs. It was nice at the time. Whatever.

My point to all this reminiscing is that I find it funny how all that seems to just disappear as we get older. Now, I know that it’s not the case for some, but it certainly has been for me. At least until recently. I have been getting together with some friends on a semi-regular basis and I’ve been loving every second of it. I know that with being an adult comes responsibility and those responsibilities come first. It’s not like I can just put off my homework like I did before and go watch movies at a friends house. Or decide to stay there instead of going home to my husband and furbabies. Don’t get me wrong here, I love my hubbykins and my furbabies, there are just times when I wonder what ever happened to that side of me, the side that had to be surrounded by friends.

I fully understand that there are reasons behind the not being able to go and do all the time. Money, responsibility, work, etc. But what about the having people over.. or just meeting for lunch on a regular basis, or something.. anything. I think it’s sad how life can just take over and won’t allow for things like that to happen as often as we’d like or even as often as we need them too.

Maybe with a little more effort and a little more planning things will become easier for us. One of these days!

XoxoX
Jess

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When I make big money…

How I’ve been feeling lately

I’m not going to go into all the reasons why I haven’t been able to post here for a while. I am gonna say, though, that I’ve missed it so freakin’ much.

Now that that’s out of the way…

Money.

Everyone has issues with it, right? Somehow that never helps when you feel you are drowning in debt. Just when you think you have things figured out a little bit, it hits you all over again. Tidal waves crashing down on you and washing you out to the debt sea. It’s not anything to mess with.

I like to say that I’m fairly decent at budgeting and keeping up with our bills. While he was deployed I even focused all of my energy on a plan that I came up with to get us totally out of debt, minus student loans. Well, the student loans on his part have been taken care of. Which is a great thing. Mine finally caught up with me. They are being handled as they should be, but I feel like I can’t stop obsessing over income and bills and what we spend our money on. I go through it on paper, with a calculator, in my head, scratch paper… everywhere I can think of because I can’t stop thinking about it. Budget, budget, budget!

I need to take some sort of financial planning class and I know there are some out there. I honestly don’t know why this is weighing so heavy on me this time. It was almost nothing to take care of his, a breeze even. But right now, it’s about all I can take.

Oh the dreams I have for our future for when I make the big money. Debt paid off is priority obviously. But that’s not a fun dream. A fun dream would be road trips galore, shopping till I literally am bursting at the closet(s), fix up my truck like I want it, get him a new vehicle, get us a boat… oh the fun times we will have.

A girl can dream, can’t she?

Until that day comes though, back to working these numbers I go.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and I’m hoping to have my blogging voice back at least a little bit after this. We shall see.

XoxoX
Jess

Niece Diva <3

fashionista in training

This little girl has stolen my heart (sorry I’m not sorry Tommy).  She means the world to me and always has, really. She, and her mom, have been living with us since October and while there has been some tough times, I don’t think I would have done it any other way.

sleeping beauties

My heart breaks into a million pieces when I think about them leaving in a few days. We really have gone as long as we can without talking or thinking about it very much because it’s just a very sad situation. She deserves the world and somehow, no matter how hard we all try, she’s just not getting it. Not at all putting any shame or blame on her mom. Her mom is fantastic and will do anything and everything she can to make sure her daughter has while she goes without. I just wish there was more that we could do to help her out, because as I said, that little girl deserves the world.

Fro-Yo goodness

From the time that I met her she’s always had a special place in my heart, as well as everyone else’s! She just has that affect on people. I’m not sure if it’s her now more fully developed southern charm or that white blonde hair she has. Whatever it is, she is capable of wrapping anyone around her finger, twice for good measure, which is something I definitely admire since, well, I’m a spoiled brat too. We spoiled brats just have to absolutely stick together. But since she’s been around more we have a totally different kind of bond. One that I hope will remain even after she leaves because I really can’t stand to think of it not being there. She is my niece diva and always will be, no matter what and I just hope she really fully understands how much I love her and how badly I’m going to miss her.

goofy times ❤

Rock Show will just never be the same and will forever bring on the water works every time I hear it now. Even yesterday when we went to town and it came on Spotify, the level of rocking out was so weak compared to before. Knowing how much she doesn’t want to go, even with as much as we talk it up. doesn’t help at all. And I know I’m supposed to be adult about this but this is really hard for me, Tommy and Tonya too! But she doesn’t deserve all this pain. I suppose all we can do is reassure her in how much we love her with all of our hearts and make sure she knows she will always have a place to call home, no matter where she is.

T-minus 3 days.

XoxoX
Jess

 

 

Is opening up a good thing, really?

I recently took the plunge and made a Facebook page for my blog. Here it is, please like and support if you want to! Also, if you want to share your pages or anything with me, I’d be more than happy to follow/like back! You can check my page out here .

This is a huge step for me, and hopefully it’s one that’s in the right direction. Actually, anything that even slightly resembles the right direction would be fine with me. As long as it’s not backwards. Backwards is bad and it’s definitely what we do not want. We want progress.

Something I have noticed while doing all this though, is that I am very slow and selective to who I open up to. It has been much easier for me to share this part of my life with people that I met online rather than those that I know personally. I am trying to be a big girl and open more to people that I see occasionally in my actual life rather than keep it secluded to the select few that I choose to share with.

This.
is.
TERRIFYING.
What if I say something in a blog post that offends someone? What if I said something in a blog post that I’ve already forgotten about and someone goes back to read it and then brings up a past rant I had and they are unhappy that I shared it, especially if they were involved. What if? What if? What if?

I’m done playing that game. This is me, these are my thoughts and if you read this then you can share in it with me and take part in the roller coaster that is my life, or not. I am so very excited about this journey I’ve started and I would love it if people I know personally would like it and keep up if they choose to do so. I’ve never been one of the popular ones though, so I imagine most won’t be all that interested and that’s completely fine. But I think that those who are my friends, who are my real friends would want to support me as I take this step to more or less putting my life, my thoughts, hopes and dreams, frustrations and irritations, rants and rambles all out there for everyone to see. Not only that, but I’m putting my writing out there. As I try to better myself and focus on the positive, I think having this would and could only help me with that. I’m stepping out, taking a chance and allowing myself to be vulnerable to people in my life for the first time.

Yep. I was right.
It’s terrifying.
But also exhilarating.

I only made the page yesterday and I already have several likes, friends showing support, some who already knew about this blog and some who didn’t. I’d say that is off to a pretty good start.

How do you do it though? All you other bloggers, I’m talking to you. How do you feel about putting yourself out there and do you keep it more limited to who knows about your blog or do you just lay it out for everyone and their Mama to see, this is me. Was it as difficult for you as it was and is for me? Mixed emotions and all?

Would love some feedback!

XoxoX
Jess

From my furkids to yours, with love.

I was calling myself all caught up with the blogs that I follow till I realized, well, I wasn’t. One of them really touched my heart and I just had to share. Whitney at Yoga Pants posted about her sweet, precious furbaby and her troubles this weekend. Poor thing had bladder stones and I remember how helpless I felt when my very own Ariel had the same issue. The stress and worry she went through was very similar to mine as well. It is a very pitiful feeling when the furkids are sick and we don’t know what to do or how to handle it other than immediately rush for the vet. If only animals could talk and tell us what was wrong! If only.

So I’m finally going to share my furkids with you all! Aren’t you excited about it? I know I am.

I have three babies of my own.

First up is Jasmine (aka Jazzy, Jazzcat, Jazzy Kitty) and she’s quite the character. She was found in my sisters bushes outside her house while the hubby and I were out of town visiting his family. She called us on our way back in and asked if we wanted a cat since she already had two and really wanted her to have a good home. We weren’t married yet, a few months shy of being married and so he took her in his little downtown apartment and they bonded like I’ve never seen a cat bond with someone. She is extremely possessive of him, so much that when he came home from Iraq on his R&R she literally fought me for his attention. Okay, not actual fighting, but she did try to push me out of the way so she could lay in his lap and man was she talkative. It was incredible to see. So, the two of them are an interesting pair. While she does love me and misses me when I’m gone, it’s  not anything close to what they have.

 

Hubsters and Jazzcat.

Second & Third have to go together just like I convinced hubsters that we had to get them together from the shelter before he deployed since they were brother and sister. I used the ultimate guilt trip to get him to agree to it too. Told him that since fate and the military were determined to separate us doesn’t mean that we have to separate them. And so we left the Southern Pines Animal Shelter with two puppies instead of just one like we intended to originally and my life has been filled with joy and comfort and love because of them both ever since. They helped me keep my sanity during the deployment even. I really don’t know what I would have done had they not been my furkids then. So now, not to keep you waiting anymore.. here are Shemp (aka Bubba) and Ariel (aka Babygirl).

so much love!

Three little furry bundles of joy to make our family complete, and joy they are. I could easily spam this post with all the pictures I have of them all but I am really trying not to. If I’m completely honest with myself though, I believe I do have a severe problem of taking ridiculous amounts of pictures of them. They are just too darn cute not to! Besides, I like them more than I like most people so that makes total sense to me.

Like Whitney said in her post about her poor little Ella, hug your little furkids tighter tonight when you get home. Don’t forget to let them know how much you appreciate their unconditional love, devotion and loyalty they provide us.

XoxoX
Jess

Mad Season

When things start to spiral out of control or I get the least bit anxious about life and what it’s throwing at me, I tend to turn to music. In the past it was always my loud, hard, ‘Eff the world’ kinda rock. That was because I was oh so lost and had that awful mentality. Lately, though, it’s been more Matchbox Twenty, Goo Goo Dolls and others of the like. Trying to cling to keeping things as positive as possible because I really do think that the music you listen to affects the mood you’re in. Don’t get me wrong though, I still listen to those eff the world songs, but they aren’t my go to now when I need help.

Today I had an anxiety attack that really snuck up on me. I wasn’t feeling stressed or anything, just sitting there watching tv and then BAM. That really can put a damper on a day and anyone that has issues with this knows what I mean. I’m the type to over-think things and try to figure out where it came from, causing even more unnecessary stress and worry. This is NOT advised. It’s really not good for the soul and since I’m all about things that are good for my soul lately, we have this fun positive post today!

What exactly is good for my soul though? Instead of letting myself get all worked up, I decided to fix some peppermint tea, go sit outside and play Matchbox Twenty over and over again while talking to one of my favorite people. I thought of things that I know I have and reminded myself how loved and lucky I am for the hard working and very supportive husband I have that was then napping inside after an almost fourteen hour shift last night. Some other things I think of to do depend so much on what I feel the panic is coming from. Is it a more self conscious worry, financial, work related, friendship folly, and the list goes on and on. Today the sitting outside with tea and music really seemed to work. It is safe to say that music is almost always involved in my ‘healing’ process. I could decide that I need to focus on the positive parts of myself, find the beauty in me so I pamper. Could do my nails, set up an at home spa day, take a long bath while reading a book or something along those lines. The important thing here, I think, is to remember to make time to step back and just breathe.

To do: practice yoga regularly!

I really miss yoga for so many of these reasons I’ve listed here. It is good for the soul, it involves relaxing music, it’s good for the mind and the body, and it includes time to meditate and breathe. I am very interested in finding a DVD to start practicing again at home since my schedule doesn’t really allow for regular practicing at a studio. I know enough about the poses to not need a yoga for beginners, but not enough to be considered advanced. I am really interested in finding some new ways of helping with this. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated!

 

 

Hope everyone’s Tuesday was off to a better start than mine and will be as good as I’m going to make mine be!

 

Work Flow

I want to introduce another part of my life to you that isn’t really considered ‘feature’ worthy but is pretty important, my job. While it isn’t exactly where I imagined I would be, I did land a pretty decent job with some pretty awesome people. Things on the horizon may be looking a little on the stormy side, but I’m sure we will conquer those raging seas! Arrg! Pirate talk always makes me feel better. What is it that I do though? And do I always look like this while doing it?

image

I am a hotel front desk clerk and proud of it! And clearly I get paid to meet people, play with their pets, fold laundry (boring), and read during down time. Our hotel, though, is not just your regular hotel as it’s meant for extended stays. Basically, it’s a mix between a hotel and an apartment. Some use it as an in between stage while moving, others are with us strictly for business travel. We have guests that stay for months at a time, giving us the chance to get to know them. That has got to be the coolest aspect of my job. See, I love being social and getting the chance to meet others from all over, it’s pretty fascinating stuff. We just had some from France, Belgium and Germany stay with us for several months and I got the chance to know them and listen to them, ya know, for their accents. Now THAT was great stuff. I could listen to those guys talk all day and be just fine and there were days that I definitely did do just that.

When it came close to time for them to check out and leave me, *sobs* they told me that they’d think of me often and they were grateful for my hospitality to them. The one from Germany even gave me a gift and that was above and beyond and so very sweet and unexpected. I’ve had guests bring me desert from a place I suggested to them or a little something here and there, but this was a German tote bag, a box of chocolates, a book, and some coffee mugs. Too sweet, right? Right.

Now it’s time for…..

What really grinds my gears is roller freakin’ luggage. I don’t think I have ever liked roller luggage and I have this very odd HATE for it. It could be due to the fact that I am too tall for most of them and that bothers me. There’s honestly no telling where this rage comes from when a guest comes to the lobby to check in and I’m having to act pleasant while oddly staring at their luggage. It’s ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. I”m eyeing it up and down like it’s done something directly to me. But it’s luggage. I swear, I’m mad. But all of the best people are, so.

So, when things get hectic at work I just remind myself how much I do love my job, I use the tote bag now to make sure I won’t forget that.

XoxoX
Jess