I have officially declared Thursdays to be ‘Thought-Provoking Thursdays’ and that certainly is what today has been for me. It has been one helluva mental struggle and emotional roller coaster kind of day. I do not wish to have a repeat of this sort of thought-provokingness in Thursdays to come and hate this is how it is starting out but watch me put a fantastic spin on it!
Today started out just fine, got up on time, no…wait, I actually got up a few minutes early! My hair has been kick-ass today despite the crappy weather which is usually a sign of a good day for me. Good hair is one in the same with a good day, right? Clearly, I was wrong. I get to work and the bosslady and the bossman are just riding my case hard all day long. Granted, I clock in 13 minutes late because I had to take my Niece to school due to her missing the bus, which rainy weather sometimes causes. But! I called in and let them know. I don’t think that bosslady should have been that upset with me since it isn’t like I’m the only one that’s ever late. In fact, this was my second time being late and the first time was because my truck broke down. Others are late regularly.
As much as that bothered me, I decided to just let it go and enjoy the day. I was on the day shift and happy to be there. Time goes by much quicker and there are actually people there to talk to! The midnight-8AM shift is quite the opposite. It’s very quiet, very dead, very boring and after today it just might be my favorite shift again.
But then it gets worse. Dun dun dunnnnnn. Caution! Ragey Jess ahead! Not really, I just went in the bathroom and cried, but they were tears of rage damnit! You see, I have this trigger word. If it is directed at me in any way, shape or form, I lose my cool, and depending on what day it is, I could have very cool left! Bossman was involved in this one though. He may have meant no harm whatsoever when he said it, actually, I’m sure that’s exactly what happened. You see, what had happened was… I burned my arm on the dryer. I do realize how ditzy this is or can be. The thing is though, there was a pot holder stuck on the very back of this massively ginormous machine that we call a dryer. I basically had to crawl in there to get it out and my arm barely grazed the bar/rod/thing that is on the drum of the machine. Well, a load had just finished drying so it was rather hot, hot enough for it to burn my arm quite a bit. It’s still red and hurting! Anyway, I get nearly all the laundry for the day done and I’m doing another small job that bossman asked me to do and still listening to him explain it. Another lady that I work with pokes her head around the corner and I show her what happened. She asked what I did and I tell her simply “I burned myself on the dryer!” Not thinking that I would be attacked in a mean way but I was. Bossman then says something like “well, didn’t your mother teach you not to be so stupid?” Ding ding ding, the gloves are off! But there goes Jess running to the bathroom! What could I do though? He’s my boss! It’s not like I could chew him out for what he said! All I was able to get out was “hey now!” and then there goes all the blood to my face followed by all the tears down my cheeks. Ugh. Embarrassing and such a shame! It’s a shame that this one little word that probably didn’t mean hardly anything other than the same thing calling it a ditzy move or asking if I’m a blonde or anything like that. The fact of the matter was and is, though, that he used the word stupid and that’s not okay with me. That’s when it turns into blind rage and I literally had to remove myself from the scene of the crime to keep anything else from happening… like losing my job! That would have made my day much, much worse.
So, how is this all a thought-provoking post? What are some other ‘trigger words’ for others? I glanced around some forums and saw that stupid actually isn’t that common. More of them had to do with appearances, race, religion, or how social or antisocial you are. A few of them that I saw are: antisocial, shy, quiet, awkward, loser, and other various words having to do with race, religion, weight, etc. There are reasons behind ‘stupid’ being my trigger word that I won’t get into those in this post because I do want to end this on a good note. How do you help to control the beast though? I mean, once it’s unleashed, the damage is done! Or, just do like me and run to the bathroom for half an hour. Tame the beast within.